February 15, 2006
Last night I was entertained by figure skating...the men's short program. Now, I know I am going to ruffle a few feathers when I tell you that, in general, I believe men should stick to hockey and speed skating when wearing blades. That, however, is not the point of this entry. But, go ahead and comment away if I upset you. Whatever.
Much ado has been made about the new scoring system in figure skating. Overall, I think it is a nice change from the old system, but I don't really know much about it, so I am not the best judge. I do, however, want to submit a brand new system for review by the International Olympic Committee and the World Skating Federation.
The new system awards points for the following: tasteful costuming, exciting jumps, pretty music, in-style hair, and overall attractiveness.
Points shall be deducted for the following: men's costuming that includes ruffles or tulle or anything overtly 80s in style, hair-styles from any century previous to the 21st, leggings pulled over women's skates so as to look as though she is wearing none, and falling down a lot.
Sure, I'm shallow. I do not deny it. But, am I the most shallow? If so, please send me my gold medal. Fed Ex never brought me my Couch Potato one.
No comments:
Post a Comment